If you want to hit the big time, then you better be able to take a knock, and the movie industry is a verbal battlefield or so I’ve heard. Someone’s always looking to to take you down a peg or two – fans, critics and friends alike. Oh…Sir! The Hollwood Roast is the second in the series and sadly it’s just the same game with a few minor improvements.

Do you remember the insult sword-fighting from the original the Secret of Monkey Island? Of course you do because it was the best point an click adventure ever made. Anyway, the fights themselves were not won by being the better swordsman, but by wielding the sharpest wit and insult your foe with it.

You and your opponent take turns insulting each other. Form quips from a shared pool of words and phrases, each which score points differently depending on the adversary. Points awarded detract from the opponents health bar and the process repeats until one of you can’t handle the pressure anymore.

Playable characters include parody versions of actors and fictitious characters, from Marilyn Monroe to Gandalf the Grey. Most of the characters are interesting but a few shine out due to character/actor mashups, Harry Potter has the voice and attitude of Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood) and as a result is called Dirty Potter. Marilyn Monroe is mixed with Morpheus (Lawrence Fishbourne) from the Matrix, all portrayed in comical fashion.

Each character has strengths and weaknesses but I found the AI to always fail at capitalising on mine. Marilyn Monroe for example does not like to be called old, pointing out her fading accolades is a sure way to get her to back off quickly. After taking enough verbal abuse you can add an appropriately snappy ending to your insult in the form of a ‘Comeback’ button. They are always unique to the character your playing but it’s always the same uninspiring result, it does add extra points though.

Where the game falls flat is with its insults. The very core of the game. None of it is insulting, I was expecting a mild and friendly spin on Cards Against Humanity but what I got was “your dad meditated on your last movie”… that’s just one of the lame insults thrown at me by the AI.

I actually found it offending that the game believes it is funny when it’s just a poor handed attempt at humour. There’s no charm and very little to no relevance on the modern or current Hollywood scene, just a mind blowing repetition of incoherent babble.

Oh…Sir! The Hollywood Roast totes a swath of poorly handled references and a sense of humour more suitable to a 4 year old. The only entertainment I can see coming from this…. actually no, I see none. I was bored from the offset, I admit I was hyped as I thought myself a quip-pro-quo masterclass, having played Monkey Island to death many times over the years but sadly – as I said earlier – this title is flatter than a very flat thing being flattened by a professional flatten-er.

OVERALL: 4.2/10 – BAD

Reviewed by Michael Jones.

(Disclaimer: CONQUEST received a review copy of Oh…Sir! The Hollywood Roast, however this does not in any way affect the scoring of a game or our thoughts on the game itself. We believe in total honesty and being transparent with you.)

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